Mom Life

How to handle a hangover when you have kids

I’ll be honest with you, when I drink, I go all out. I don’t get out as much I used to so I take full advantage and put my liver in overdrive. This causes me to have a severe hangover. Managing a hangover and kids is tough.

It’s all fun and games until the next morning when I feel like I got ran over by a truck. The problem is, I don’t always have an overnight babysitter and the 4 tiny people I live with won’t just let me sleep. They want to say “mom” 1 billion times and they always want to eat. You think that’d be enough for me to rethink my drinking choices but nope, a mom’s gotta have her fun too. Here’s how I deal with a hangover when my kids are home and bothering me. This works best for kids ages 18 months and up.  If you do this in addition to your normal hangover remedies you should live.

First you need to set the ground rules and tell them mommy is sick.

Bribe them to leave you alone by saying you’ll give them money, a toy, anything to get them to stop bothering you at least until you can get it together a little more.

Tell them no breakfast unless they make it themselves.

Let them have whatever. At this point there’s no use of micromanaging their food intake. Give them bread, a cracker, leftover Chinese, anything at all if they can’t do it themselves.

Let them watch a movie and play on any and all technology

Let them watch a movie with popcorn. The with popcorn part makes them want to actually sit and watch. This works well for me because my kids love popcorn and we usually don’t let them eat in the living room.  This gives you more time to lay around. If you can’t find a movie or the movie is over and you need more time, let them play with your phone, a computer, tablet, something, anything to help them get their eyes off of you.

Take a shower.

Don’t feel bad about it. Lock the door and let the kids cry for 15 minutes.  They will survive and it might be the only thing that will help you survive.

Order food.

By this time, the cracker you served for breakfast is wearing off and you will be getting hungry too. Pizza, Chinese, McDonald’s through Uber.  Do what it takes to get food as long as you don’t have to make it or clean it yourself. That is if you can actually eat without puking.

When all else fails, the number one tip to surviving your hangover with kids is:

Give up.

Seriously, let shit go for the day and chill out.  You can deal with the mess another time.  Your kids will survive a few hours without you catering to their every need.  They’ll learn to solve their own problems and will stop crying eventually. Enjoy your hangover and your headache. Go back to bed.

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