I never intended to be a soccer mom but here I am, 4 kids later, driving a minivan to soccer 6 days a week. I don’t actually consider myself a soccer mom though because soccer moms are not really my type. In order to avoid being your stereotypical soccer mom be sure to follow these guidelines.
Soccer mom don’ts…
Don’t micromanage the team.
This is the most important one. You are not the coach. You probably never played soccer (or whatever sport your child is on) a day in your life. Stop telling the kids to run for a ball that isn’t theirs. Stop telling them to do the opposite of what the coach tells them. Stop charging the field, yelling at a ref or coach. Stop telling the coach what to do. You could’ve damn well volunteered to coach the team but you didn’t. So in the meantime, cheer on your kid and their team without making an ass out of yourself.
Don’t put stick figure families on your minivan.
This one is a given. If you are like me and have no choice but to rock the minivan, please don’t put bumper stickers on it. People don’t care about your stick figure family. They also don’t care if you have an honor role student or a baby on board. Actually the person behind you doesn’t need to know your political or religious beliefs either. Back to soccer..
I mean, you can volunteer every so often but don’t be an over doer. It’s annoying. It also makes us average moms look bad. It also gives the impression that you have no life, or that you’re kissing up so your kid gets more playing time, or that you’re trying to get with the coach. Who knows? Anyway, this brings me to another thing people overdo…
Don’t overdo snacks.
There’s really no need for a super cute snacks. You don’t have to make juice boxes look like little soccer players either. Cute but unnecessary. There’s really no need for a snack at all. I’m pretty sure kids can handle a 60 minute game without getting rewarded with food and drinks each time.
Don’t bother the coach all the time.
Clearly he has his hands full.
You don’t need to text on a Tuesday saying “will there still be a game on Saturday because I heard it’s suppose to rain?” You actually don’t need to text at all about the rain or weather because most likely if any games get cancelled it’s because the league cancelled it, not the coach. Don’t worry, the coach will let you know when he finds out. Also, is it really necessary to text every week saying, “is the game at 10 a.m. tomorrow?” I’m pretty sure everyone got a schedule at the beginning of the year, both paper and online.
Soccer mom do’s…
Say thank you.
Your kid’s coaches are volunteering their own time to do this. They are not getting paid. They do it for the love the game and their own kids. Instead of complaining, a simple ‘Thank You’ would be nice. Even better, at the end of the season, give a thank you card.
All of this applies to all sports, not just soccer!! Do your best not to be annoying.
You can be really awesome by watching the game on this cool couch that blows up in the wind.
(Good for the beach too!)