Mom Life

Top 3 questions to ask your introverted kids after school

Everyone knows not to ask “How was school?” Or  “What did you do today?” Most likely you’ll get “fine” and “nothing” as your answer.  Obviously, if you want to know what they’re learning, look at their work.

I have one kid that wants to tell me every second of her day without me having to ask and one that could’ve went to the moon and back and would never tell me.  The preschooler is hit or miss and will eventually tell all at random times except when asked.


The questions that I find the most effective for learning about my introverted child’s day and who she really is, are:

Who did you sit by at lunch?

This is usually a choice that she makes on her own and not assigned seating like the rest of the school day.  It gives me an idea of who her friends are and if she likes sitting by the same people everyday. You can also ask more questions, like: What were your friends eating at lunch? This way you can see if she’s observing others. Also, gives you ideas of what to pack In lunches if you’re in a lunch rut. Did anyone sit by themselves? Another way to see if she’s observing others and a way to teach about kindness.

What did you play at recess?

This is another one that gives me an idea of what she likes to do and who she likes to play with.  This year I already learned that she can reach the medium/high bar and last year she couldn’t. I found out that Harry Potter tag was so last year and this year they’re playing toilet tag more.  You can also ask: Who else was playing you? Did anyone else ask to play? What were some of the other kids playing?  Did anyone get in trouble?

Did anything funny or weird happen?

I like to ask this because laughing is important. I couldn’t imagine if nothing funny happened all day. Last year one of my kids thought her teacher was hilarious, because of this, she had a great year. This question also gives you an idea of your kid’s sense of humor. Does she think farts in class are hilarious or embarrassing?  Did she laugh when something bad happened to another student? If so, obviously teach about kindness.

There are tons of questions you can ask your kids.  The most important thing is that you are engaging with them and showing concern about their day. You can easily find out their grades and how they are doing academically but in my opinion, social skills and interaction are more important.

Here’s a cool book of one question writing prompts for kids.

What are some of your favorite questions to ask your child after school?

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